A new musical about the one thing we never stop doing – growing up.

Help!

Hi, I was wondering if someone could help me out. I'm hoping to do a performance of Lamest Place In The World at a school concert. I'm hoping to give a kind of introduction to it, like coming on with Evan and having a conversation before going into song. I haven't seen the show, but could someone give me a few lines that Patrice and Evan say to each other before the song? Thanks):

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Permalink Reply by Derek on June 7, 2009 at 11:17am: EVAN
Hey mom, what’s up? Wait, what? You never said anything about moving! Where? Indiana? Noooooo! Appleton, Indiana. No, seriously. My parents split up, my life falls apart. And now I’m in a town where UFO’s go to re-fuel. I mean, they actually have a sign that tells you the population. If you can count how many people there are, then there aren’t enough people!

PATRICE
A stewardess, really?

EVAN
At least there’s someone around here I can talk to, my next door neighbor, Patrice.

PATRICE
New Yorkers have the most awesome problems!

EVAN
Anyway, we moved here cause my mom’s cousin Pam’s here.

PATRICE
Sounds like the divorce got ugly.

EVAN
Ugly? My dad totally ruined our lives. My mom’s a mess. She went around the apartment cutting his head out of all the photos.

PATRICE
No.

EVAN
With her teeth.

PATRICE
No!

EVAN
It all happened pretty fast. My dad gets mid-life crisis, and I get mid-America.

PATRICE
Hey, you’re lucky. My parents split up last year, and I had to stay here.

EVAN
Well I couldn’t stay. My dad got his stewardess, but my mom had no one. She said “It’s your decision,” which as we all know is Jewish for “You’re coming with me!” I had no choice. So now I have to have my Bar Mitzvah in Appleton, Indiana.

PATRICE
Well, if it’s so awful, then just don’t have it.

EVAN
Yeah, right, try telling my mom that. For us, it’s the one day in your life that gets to be happy and perfect.

PATRICE
See, Catholics don’t have that day. It’d go against everything we believe in.

EVAN
And besides, how hot your party is totally sets up how popular you’ll be. So mine has to be the best: the best DJ, at the best ballroom, in the best hotel.

PATRICE:
Which is the Best Western!

EVAN
Really, that’s my option?
PATRICE
Oh wait, I know the perfect place!

EVAN
Where?

PATRICE
New York!

EVAN
Come on Patrice, there’s gotta be some place in this town!

PATRICE
Sorry, but your choices are like my life here, limited.

EVAN
Limited to what?

PATRICE
Umm, okay.

DOWN THE ROAD THERE’S A DAIRY QUEEN...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cecily on June 7, 2009 at 12:02pm: Wow! Such an angel!! Thank you so much for this! Where did you get this from anyway?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Derek on June 7, 2009 at 12:07pm: I have a copy of the script :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Terryn on June 7, 2009 at 3:46pm: Where did you get it?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by FutureBroadwayActress on June 14, 2009 at 7:52pm: WHERE DID YOU GET THE SCRIPT????? I WANT IT!!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gracie on June 15, 2009 at 4:01am: mee too!!!!!!!!!! lol; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gracie on June 12, 2009 at 5:38am: howd u get a copy of the script? your soo lucky!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Derek on June 15, 2009 at 6:26am: anyone who is really that interested is welcome to message me and we can work out a deal.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by caroline Jane on December 12, 2009 at 3:35pm: Hello all of you I'm in a Broadway production I saw the play 13 and loved it i thought it would be good practice for me to rehearse it with my other cast mates but i can not find the script anywhere and i saw Derek had it could u please send me a copy? please......; ▶ Reply to This